Anna and Greg

(Map of the farm, made by Anna.)

Anna and Greg got married this summer on their farm in Maryland. When we found out we were moving to DC, we had no idea Anna would be there too. We were overjoyed when we learned that not only was Anna marrying her perfect match, Greg, but they were going to live and work just 45 minutes away from our new home.

At the reception, David gave a speech about his first interactions with Anna back in the dorms during undergrad. She would sit in her room and play an old, broken guitar, and even though it was old and broken, she could make it sound beautiful. David wished the same for their marriage- that when Greg was feeling down and broken, Anna would bring the beauty out of him. That she would make him sing.

More starts

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time now, but I have been hesitating. There is just too much to say, too much to convey, and these words won't really do.

I mentioned before that mental illness is a serious but largely ignored issue in Sierra Leone. I saw obvious, severe cases every day, and there are many more cases that sit just below the surface. There was a man who wandered our neighborhood, some days alert and asking for food, and other days slumped over on the side of the road and unresponsive. I would buy him bread or hand him a few plantains, ask him his name, attempt conversation. I asked people in the neighborhood if they knew him, but no one did.

In order for him to get long-term care, we would have to find his family. I asked him if he had family nearby and where they lived, and he pointed down the road. I flagged down a taxi and David and I went with him to find them. After driving all around Freetown, it became clear we weren't going to find anyone. The taxi driver told us that the man's directions didn't make sense and what we thought was Krio was actually nonsense. Perhaps his family was in a different town. Perhaps he didn't have any family left.

City of Rest, in the middle of Freetown, is the country's only mental rehabilitation facility. It is run by locals and receives no government funding. I spent a couple of hours there one afternoon, taking photos for an article and meeting the residents. City of Rest is building a new facility outside of town that will allow for more residents and more room for rest and rehabilitation. But until they raise more funds, it is filled to capacity and unable to accept more people.

The only other option is the government mental hospital. When you mention this place, everyone has a rumor to share. People chained to beds. One small meal a day. Abuse by guards. Bribes and cruelty. But, is it better than being on the street?

City of Rest is not perfect. There is no running water and there is not enough medicine. But there is love there, and diagnosis and therapy and a desire to see people healed. The staff is fighting to get the right medicines and to learn how to better treat the residents. And then there are the residents themselves, the woman who was once unable to care for herself and is now healthy and smiling. The former soldiers who have found a community and a sense of home.

No, it is not perfect, but it is a start. I think we need more starts.

Love

Happy Valentine's Day xoxo

3 years!!!

Happy anniversary to the cutest little guy with the best beard and the kindest eyes. I love you in California, Baltimore, Sierra Leone, probably everywhere in the whole world.

Charity

"We are all receiving Charity. There is something in each of us that cannot be naturally loved. It is no one's fault if they do not so love it.... You might as well ask people to like the taste of rotten bread or the sound of a mechanical drill. We can be forgiven, and pitied, and loved in spite of it, with Charity; no other way. All who have good parents, wives, husbands, or children, may be sure that at some times- and perhaps at all times in respect of some one particular trait or habit- they are receiving Charity, and are loved not because they are lovable but because Love Himself [Christ] is in those who love them."

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Happy Valentine's Day to the one who loves me anyway.

Only love

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?

Here's to 2 years!

Happy anniversary, Husband. I love you and I'm glad to be your wife.

The rehearsal

Just 2 years ago we were rehearsing for our wedding on the beach. The wind was strong and the sand pounded our bodies as we stood where we were to take our vows. I was nervous that the ceremony would be so windy that the flowers would blow away and the youngest guests would become little kites and fly up into the air. Our eyes would sting and the arch would topple and my dress would be tossed about my body.

The wedding day was perfect. No wind, just sunshine and joy and even the youngest ones sitting happily in their seats. Had it been windy, or had it rained during the ceremony or the guests been covered in fog, I don't think I would have noticed. I was marrying the best person I've ever known.

My dad

My dad is the most generous, supportive person I know. Growing up I wanted to be just like him, going so far as to choose the same favorite color and number, like the same sports, and take pride in our similar handwriting. Through every dream- from wanting to be a marine biologist to a sportscaster to an international development worker- he has stood by me and encouraged me along my path. He never questioned my goals or the way I was shaping my life, and instead said he was proud of who I was becoming. I am so thankful for this love.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you. 

This is what I did tonight

See the "Marry Me" in the sand?

I'm pretty sure they are happy.

Jenny and me and the boys prepping the site. 

We love you Nate and Melissa!

Mama's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the lovely mamas out there. Especially mine. She raised 2 babies at once, with 3 teenagers already at home. And let me tell you, 2 babies is hard (or so I hear). Especially when one's a crier, whiner, and trouble-maker. I'll let you guess who from the picture.

When I was little I'd tell her, "I love you more than you could ever hope to imagine." I think I still do.

Why I'm excited to have kids

I love him so much that it makes my heart hurt. Won't he be the best dad some day? 

Will our kids know how blessed they are to call him "dad"?

Will their little hands disappear inside his bear paws?

Will they know from his eyes how much he loves them?

Will they feel cool knowing their dad could totally beat any bad guys?

Will they refer to his bearded-years as his "mountain man phase" (just like we did to my dad)?

Will they love his little baby birdy hair? Or will that just be me?

Pretty pretty princesses

Yesterday was the birthday of two of my dearest friends, Meg and Mallory. Meg has a heart the size of the whole world. She has been a perfect friend to me since 5th grade, and I and so thankful for her. Mal is exceptionally beautiful and talented, yet manages to remain kind and perhaps the silliest person you will ever meet.

(Bottom 2 photos by the amazing Manuele Photography.)

I love you both. Thanks for being so cool yet still loving me. Happy birthday to the prettiest princesses I know.

A chunk of my heart

Today I am missing my friends. Not the ones I turn to when I'm sad or the ones I like to cuddle and chat with, but the ones who stole a chunk of my heart in Uganda a few summers ago. The ones who escaped war in their own country and are attempting to make a life in an unfamiliar one. The ones who don't even know how important they are to me. The ones I want to hug and just sit with and be still.

The ones who send emails saying, "Thanks for loving us and still be in contact with me. Greeting to Dv and you too." They send other emails too, saying, "Hey my best how are U. Here we are fair. We have our friend Amos sick from TB. Good bye, yours Johnny." These are the emails I fear. I am overwhelmed.

My spirit longs to comfort and empathize and say that it will be okay. Amos will get better and you will be well and you will make beautiful music that will make the world dance and sing.

But all I do is pray. And not often enough.

We clasp the hands of those who go before us
And the hands of those who come after us.

We enter the little circle of each other's arms

And the larger circle of lovers,

Whose hands are joined in a dance,

And the larger circle of all creatures,

Passing in and out of life,

Who move also in a dance,

To a music so subtle and vast that no ear hears it

Except in fragments.

Wendell Berry

I will love you forever

Saturday was the day for lovers, and, like last year, my lover and I delivered flowers for Albert's Florist. My roommates Janne and Kathleen worked at Albert's during college, and the owners, Barkev and Tsolig, became friends of mine and David's.

My favorite delivery of the day was to a nice little house near Bishop's Peak. A sign on the door beneath a rusty bronze bell said, "Ring bell LOUDLY." After ringing a few times, and covering my ears to protect from ear damage, a woman came to the door dressed to the nines in a powder blue suit and pearls. She said, "Oh how beautiful! I'll add them to the others." She had already received 4 arrangements, and it was only 9 in the morning. I said, "Wow, you must have a lot of people who love you." She replied, "That's what happens when you're 95. My baby boy is coming to visit me today too. He's 52." What an incredible thing, to be alive for 95 years and to experience such depth and richness of love. I felt so peaceful talking with her. If I live that long, I hope I get at least one flower from someone who loves me.

After delivering I surprised David with a couple's massage and champagne. I lied and told him we were going to the beach, and he felt like a goober when he showed up at the spa wearing sweatpants and a huge striped poncho from Tijuana. The massage was lovely, and then we went to the beach for burgers at Longboards.

I love you, Husband. I will love you forever.